Belfast Riots / Protests

Well the Protesters are getting a bit of bad press regarding disrupting traffic, workers and shoppers.
It's been done many, many times before in the history of Belfast / Northern Ireland.  

It was more than likely foreseen that taking the flag down would cause problems in the way of protests and riots. So surely it could have been left until after christmas if the powers that be didn't want to have christmas all disrupted. More than likely it was chosen to be done now to make the protestants look as bad as possible.

What are the opinions of the Great British Public on the Main Land???

Planned Violence

Deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness, says recent violence over the flying of the union flag at Belfast City Hall was orchestrated.


Well yes Martin.........I would say it more than likely was.  

Martin McGuinness is a man who should know planned violence when he sees it; since he's had quite a bit to do with planned violence / riots etc. himself over the years.

How many police officers have been injured during republican / nationalist violence???? Mmmmm!!! 

We could all bitch, nit pick point the finger and shake our heads and drag things up as much as we like but is isn't going to solve the problem here in this country.

The individuals in power in this country are not rational adults, they are;

1. big children
2. huffs
3. blackmailers
4. taking "back-handers"
5. have a major dose of "selective memory" syndrome thrown into the mix.

Not to mention that quite a few of them are ex-criminals / terrorists.  Now lets think on that one for a moment........?

Yes, third world country's have murderers, criminals and terrorists in power.  Not the western world................. Oh but Northern Ireland is the acception.  Main Land Britain don't really want us, I think they see us as a dirty little scab they would like not to be there.  Ireland don't really want us as they really can not afford us.  Plus where would all the unemployed get their unemployment benefit from??  Would they still want Britain to subsidize them with the Great British Pound???

Northern Ireland needs a political clear out!!

Breeding Hate

  

                           

                               

                                     Northern Ireland 

                                                                                  

             

LOOK at the HATE WE ARE BREEDING

It is the past being dragged into the future.  

No one moves forwards by dragging the past with them..........

Remember it do not hold onto it. 

Teach the the truth, not the myth. 

Hate breeds hate. 

Acceptance breeds acceptance.

Respect breeds respect.

Porn.......whats the craic?

Well it would seem as small and shapeless as possible.

Men love to believe that all the women in porn are "gagging" for it, horned up vixens who all "Ooooh!", "Ahhhh!" and "Oh yeah baby just like that"!

Now its all well and good as long as it is kept in perspective.  Props are used to make the girls / women look wet or to make it look like they are squirting like some sort of water fountain.  The scary thing is a lot of young people who are watching this believe it, take it as being reality.  Now this brings about an idea in females that they need to perform like the porn ACTRESSES do.  Cue the distorted body images my tits aren't facing out or up the right way, I've got cellulite, I'm not wet enough, the list could continue.  I was surprised and shocked though the other week at what was being classified as a fat or chubby girl on a porn site.  The girls / women being categorize as fat or chubby were of normal averaged size.  What is this saying to our young men and women?


These girls / women are being paid to do this.  Do they have much self-worth or respect for themselves?  Personally the jury is out on that one for me.  They can claim to be as confident and happy with themselves as they like, no one will really know the truth, maybe not even the women themselves.  It's kind of like the overweight person who declares they are very happy with the way they are and love themselves.  This maybe true, then again it may not.  Some people are very good at lying to themselves.


Slight Topic Divert - Air-Brushing
I remember going out with a guy, this one time he was intensively looking at a sloggy underwear advert on the back of a magazine; a row of women's bums in the sloggy knicker's, photo-shopped to the hilt.  He went on to disbelieve me when I told him that adverts such as that one (and all other's) are photo-shopped and air-brushed.  He thought it was all real and natural, the same guy also said to me one time "Why don't you wear a lot of make up? You should try it, it looks nice"  There will always be shallow people.

 Pornographic images have become quite the norm nowadays it would seem.  Most of our female Pop stars such as @Rihanna (to mention only one) and A ( B / C / D) List celebrities look like they are ready for a soft porn shoot.  Which I do find disturbing as our young children are idolizing these people.  Girls (increasingly younger) want to be and look like them and boys are coming to the belief that this is how girls and women should look and behave.
I have two young daughters and I don't expose them in our home to Pop videos or the mind numbing popular soaps.  Don't get me wrong I don't go about covering their eyes when we are out and about but  a hell of a lot of Pop videos are soft porn.  It's selling sex to children from, well birth if they are brought up viewing such things.



As individuals we need to assess what we allow to pass as the norm, we can't just put everything down to "Times are changing".  

The Soul Makes it's Own Family

I remember a college tutor saying one day in class "the soul makes it's own family".

At the time the words she said didn't really mean much to me.  I thought it was a nice idea but all I had at the time was my immediate family(Mother, Father and Grandparents), my boyfriend (now husband) and a handful of gatherings a year with my three cousins, aunt and uncle.
I found it difficult to make and keep friendships, so therefore the idea of my soul making its own family was a pipe dream.
I felt awkward and unnatural mixing with new people.

I wasn't encouraged to mix with people my own age, in fact looking back now as an adult with my own children my mother didn't want me to do this. She never said it but her actions spoke it so loud.
I used to think there was "there is something wrong with me........ why can't I make friends...... why don't I have friends I can play with, meet with and hang around with!!"
My social life was school, (where I got bullied and felt I didn't fit in.  I see now this was down to my lack of social skills, not that there was actually something wrong with me) the rest of my time was spent at home with my parents, with grandparents or out drinking with my uncle who was 9 years older than me.   YES, I began drinking at a very early age........my first "special coke" (vodka and coke) was at the tender and confused age of 8!  And from there it continued, I loved the buzz and as I grew older, began collage, then work alcohol was the only way I could cope with being out socializing; the false confidence it gave felt good but more often than not I'm sure I was a complete idiot.  Really I didn't feel happy or comfortable with any of it.  I remember one time at a family members birthday party, my uncle buying me drink, I managed to drink 10 pints of cider (at the age of 12), needless to say I was in a bad state, yet nothing was said by anyone!  It was all normalized or brushed under the the carpet (which was where everything seemed to be put).
God knows what my liver was / is like with all the abuse it has taken in the past.

Flying The Flag

Flag's.

Just throwing out some ideas and thoughts here.

A Flag; coloured cloth sewn together and embellished with designs and or symbols, so we as individuals can feel a sense of belonging and have an identity.

They have their place.

They serve a role.

They are used during war.  Nations / individuals have killed over the name of a flag and the country it belongs to.

People take pride in their flag.

Flag's in Northern Ireland are very political, a hot topic.

Northern Ireland is a part of the British Empire. So shouldn't the Union Flag fly on top of the Belfast City Hall?
Yes.  As Belfast is Officially a British City.  That is the fact of the matter.
I am British, my passport and where I was born say so.  The Union Flag is my counrty's flag.

I do not however think that killing and or dying for the sake of a flag is necessary.

There are many Country's in the world which have high populations of individuals from other Country's living in them, do they feel the urge or need to debate the fact that the flag of the Country in which they are living to not be flown on the top of City Halls or state buildings?

With flags come different beliefs and cultural differences.  But look at the many different beliefs and differences which gather under the name of one flag.

Can we not as a world accept the differences?  Murders have been and are being wrongly committed over flags and the beliefs surrounding them.

Like big children in the playground with deadly weapons we seem to continue.

Time management

There is so much I want to do yet I feel as though the day has not enough hours for me to achieve them.
I know though the day is long enough, I just have bad time management.

How to manage time must be something all mothers and fathers struggle with??

One big pyjama party

Some individuals make me want to vomit.

They spend most of their days in their pyjamas, have no intention of working, take everything they can get and want to give nothing.
Their homes are colour matching, with big pretentious vases or ornaments in the front window's.
They are generally scamming the life out of the welfare system and seem to think it is their right to do so.

Do you know many people like this?

I am living among them!!

Get some soul

"The soul of this man is his clothes"

Quite sadly this is so true of many of us these days......not just the man Shakespeare was thinking of when he wrote those few words.
We do seem to live in a "Material World".

Sucked in by the media and sleepwalking.

Possessions and wealth is of more importance to the masses than anything else; be it there children, health or the common good of the world on which we live and are supported by.

God

The God we are taught of in the Western world was written about and taught of by men.
Why?
To control the masses.

TIME

I believe even if I woke up where I needed to be I would still be late!!
I have just over two hours to get me and the kids ready in the mornings and I still manage to run late!!
I know what I need to do, I can do it, yet fatigue gets the better of me and I "loose" time!
In bed by 10pm or before most week nights, so what is the deal there?
Frustration central

North Belfast

What a NEANDERTHAL state of affairs.

What is the Parades Commission all about if one side has to wait for a March to be given the okay and the the other just goes ahead and Marches without going through this process??

Lets all wait until "Home Time" so we can gather and throw rock's at dusk!!


 

Quite Frankly...........

Hey, so I'm going to admit something. 

I indulge in home enema's!!! 

Oooh! such a thing to admit to but I believe your bowels are like your life; you've got to clear out  the crap in order to keep a free and clear mind.

Hello no one!!!

It has been a while.  I lost heart and interest in this Blogging business.  Plus time was an issue, but I have been twitching to start tapping the keys again, giving off and generally just saying what I feel I should not say in person.

A Rant about keeping house!

Hands up if you ever feel at a loss for what to do?

My hand is reaching high up to the sky!

Sometimes it is difficult to keep a positive and motivated disposition regarding "keeping house"!
Lost in a mound of laundry, dishes, toys, everyday clutter and mail needing sorted.
The working day begins when my children wake, it ends usually about..........  well when I got to bed!  I am not very organized and neither do I have a strict daily routine (well this is how it feels to me).
I find myself very often lost in the daily cycle of "house keeping", this is my full-time job.  I don't have regular "me time" for relaxation or self pampering (I have only just begun to on a semi-regular basis to apply tan which makes me feel good about my body and it's naked appearance).

Do a lot of  "house keepers" feel this way?
I'm sure they do, yet it is so easy to allow yourself to imagine you are alone in feeling this way.

Lovely neighbours!!!

I have neighbours who think its ok to let their dog's out in the court we live in to crap everywhere!  Outside my house and every other house but theirs!
They must think that we are all blind to their crapping dogs, and they would deny it is their dogs doing it!  Sadly they are the type of family you couldn't talk to about the problem as they would probably slash you car tyres or put dog crap right at your front door.  This family occupies not 1 house but 3 houses in a court of 14 and has 5 dogs between them.  These are the people I live amongst.  I feel like my family and me don't belong here!!  Moral and social standards are gutter low!

Knowing you

Never assume that you know a person.  You may think that you know them but then caught off guard by this assuming you find yourself confused and hurt!

House work

House work/running your home.  How many people struggle with this task?

I myself have peaks and and dips.  Everyone always has clean clothes and underwear but I can't help but feel overwhelmed by clutter, laundry, washing up and paperwork.
With paper work: what to shred of file away.  How many of you have though "I'll shred that" only to find in a week or month or so you should have kept it!

Fear

Rejection.

It is such an immense fear, one that we all have.  I don't believe you if you say you do not fear rejection.
It is such a damaging, destructive feeling/emotion, if you let it rule you.

My life was ruled by fear, fear of rejection amongst other things.  It was a pressurised container of a life.  So much fear, the fear of life itself outside of what I was experiencing and knew.

Liberation.

Denying your fear is not the way to go.  If you deny something you cannot own it.  You've got to own your feelings, they don't belong to anyone else.  Accept the fear is yours, hold it, look straight at it. Know it.  Understanding something makes it less "scary".

Hold it.
Own it.
Know it.
Say "Not today".

Show me the.........

Money. 

More going out than coming in!!
I am tempted at times to live in the world of HP (hired purchase) and loans from the likes of The Money Shop etc.
I know people who do live this way and they seem to manage it all very well.  Though, as tempting as this idea is at times I really don't think I could sleep easy at night, the thought of all I would owe hanging over my head like a grey cloud blocking my sun!

It seems to be our culture now, and a very acceptable one at that to live beyond our means in all ways.  So many people are living a life they can barely afford or cannot afford but juggle it all on the surface very well.

A society of consumerism, pay not matching the cost of living and taxes on practically everything has fed the giants of greed and money lenders.

Football Thoughts

Football players; over rated and over paid.

The game itself may bring people together (or give them a reason to knock the crap out of each other), give people an interest and so on but I would say is it not immoral that British Premiership football players get paid in excess of  £150,000.00 + a week?
A lot of the fans following the teams would never even see that amount of money in their lifetime!
The amount football players are allowed to get paid is wrong!  Cap it at £50,000.00 a week for goodness sake.  No one person in the world could possibly need any more than that.  There are people in the world with nothing, starving because they cannot afford to feed themselves, and I'm not talking third world countries here.

A ramble about me

Do you ever look in the mirror and not recognise the person looking back at you?  Feeling the need to do a double take!

"Oh my goodness!  Who is this looking back at me?  Is this me?  Is this how I look?"

My  face and its features aren't the way I imagine them to be. I'm just doing my thing day to day thing and I don't look the way I imagine in my head I look.
I am not 18-21 anymore, that is not me.  Yet for some reason that is the image of my face that I have in my mind!
I am wearing well so far, in my 31st year of living in this body.  Its been through some pretty rough times and has the scars to show for it but it is still here, working away for me.  I wish I had taken better care of it when I was younger and I would like to do so now!
I exercise, I don't drink enough water, drink too much coffee and smoke about 5 roll-ups a day!

I am a secret smoker, only a select number of people know I smoke!

Why?

Because I am ashamed of it, it is dirty and smelly but (yes, but) I do enjoy it at night time when the children are in bed!  I only started smoking when I was 21 as a social/stress induced thing. My other half had no idea, he was not part of the select at the time.
 I stopped when pregnant.  Then started again about 2 years ago!
I have gone with out for days and on occasion weeks but what can I say, I enjoy chilaxing of an evening with my roll-up.

To Live or Survive, that is the question!

Never mind living; just survive.
That may as well be what the government tell the working and lower classes.
The poor need to stay poor for the rich to stay rich.  So is our civilised social structure, every one must have a role and stick to it as much as possible for things to work the way they should, according to the upper ruling classes.  The masses seem to not matter; manipulated by the verbal, mind numbing diarrhoeal pushed on us by the wealthy in power.
Think or sleepwalk!
So what if parents have to chose between feeding their family or heating their homes, searching down the back of the sofa to gather enough change to buy a two litre carton of milk or a loaf of bread!

Parents are God?

If you have grown up in a somewhat manic house of issues and  no firm boundaries does it make it harder for you as an adult?
As an only child growing up with parents who have issues which have not been addressed, "dealt with" or resolved.  Is it more likely that the issues and baggage being carried by the parents will be passed on to the only child and make their transition into adulthood a more difficult one?
Mother is "God" in the eyes of a child.  Is this mother "God" one of unconditional love,care and compassion or a "God" to be feared and provoke anxiety?
This is the choice of the individual mother.

No one of us is with out issues or baggage of some sort but as we enter parenthood/motherhood we must make concious decisions and remember the young lives we are impacting on and helping to form.

Simple life

Do you sometimes ever wish your mind worked on a different level?
I do.  I would really like to experience a simpler level of thinking.  Have you ever known or known of someone who, you would pass as "simple" for want of a better word and just thought of them as stupid or lacking?  Well I have done that very thing but today I have been thinking about it and they seem quite happy and content in their world.  Ah, their world may be narrow and restricted in terms of language and life goals but they do seem happy.
"Ignorance is bliss"?

Keep calm and have more.............

Sex.
Such a wonderful, glorious act.
The sensations of freedom and oneness at the same time.
Expression of love.
Expression of lust and passion.
Consenting adults, exploring each other intimately.  Breaking free of the boundaries and idealisms ingrained into us as we grow into adults.  The finding of your own sexual being, exciting and heart racing.  Inner bliss and release, which radiate from within creating outward self confidence.

Olympics

If GB would put a little more effort into sports at school,encouraging and celebrating natural athletic abilities instead of crushing and wasting them under pressures of academia, shoved behind a desk, we may have more of a valid reason to celebrate the coming Olympics being held in London.

Right now the Olympics, to me is a great way for people with money to make more money by cashing in.  Also how many "average" people on the street are going to get a chance to actually be there.

Are the people of GB proud of their athletes or just the fact that their country was chosen to hold the games??

"Mid-life" Crisis??

Okay so mid-life is probably not correct and crisis, well no I don't think so either but there is a lot of realisation and acceptance I'm needing to do right now.
I am in my 31st year of life.
It seems as though I blinked at the age of 16 then all of a sudden here I am!  Grown up, a mother and a wife!  Realising that I really did take my young, single days for granted.  I took them too seriously, cared too much about what others thought and my body image was stinking (still struggle with that one).

Although I would never want to give up what I have in life now; I do wish that when I was younger I had made some different choices.
Never having lived on my own minus a boyfriend I often linger over how nice the idea is, of having your own space to do with as you please.  No doubt back in the day I would of had many pink fluffy things about, lots of pictures of fairies and a mix-match of charity shop furniture.

All I can say is I will be fully supporting and encouraging my children when they are older to branch out, fly the nest and experience the world of independence with the supportive and listening shoulder of a mother to lean on when needed.

The "Big Men"!

This Country is full of them.
Their place in society now more resembling that of wood worm!
They are no longer in your face but they are still there eating away at the fabric of lower/working class areas.

Many of the head honcho's back in the day "made" themselves enough money to move away from the areas they controlled, to prettier tree-lined avenues, leaving their drink and drug fuelled "hard boys" behind to protect and control.

Jobless and claiming every sort of benefit they sit full of their own importance, lost in time.  Still trying to command respect through fear!

Does money birth greed?

If so would it affect any of us?

Is it only a selection of people who, once they have a considerable amount of money they become greedy?  Fearing its loss so much so they covet it, would see the world fall down around them and it, rather than use it for the common good!

Sleep walking consumers

I am distracted living in the concrete jungle.  Any green areas are in a bad state. The majority of "parents" dragging, no  I shouldn't say that, bringing their children up don't seem to care.
Respect for our beautiful nature is thrown to the gutter.
Consumerism has consumed the poorest areas, the poorest people eating into media driven idealism; the idea that having all these material things will make their lives happier, fuller and more meaningful.
We are a spoon-fed nation, with a majority of sleepwalkers; the people with the grossest amounts of money like it that way.  We, the masses keep them rich.

Wake up.
Stop, feel some stillness.
Think for yourself.
The truth may not always feel comfortable.
The truth can be heavy to hold.
So grab it,
Hold it,
Feel it,
Know it,
Set it down then choose your path.
Be awake.

BRAIN FOG!!!!

Oh brain fog!  It is never far away.
Brain fog or depression?
Different or the same thing?
I can liken life with brain fog, to driving a car in heavy fog.  Nice and clear then.......................BOOM! It hits you.
Mornings are a popular time for its visitation.
"Oh no!" I think, fighting it until I am consumed by the thick, brain fog treacle.  Things feel as though they are in slow motion, no matter how quick you feel you are going or want to go.  The hands of a clock tell a different story; simple things take such a bloody long time.

Oh my, good morning!

Mornings don't agree with me, or I don't agree with them?  I am a disorganised air head, supping at my coffee, trying to drag myself away from the warmth of the radiator.
I have no end of ideas and thoughts about what I should be doing and how I should be doing them, what is missing though is my motivation to actually get up and do.
I loose time, I swear I do.  I would love to be able to say that there is some sort of supernatural force stealing my time, alas there is not.  All there is to blame is my day-dreaming state, I can safely say I am away with the fairies.  My other half quite often says I will be late for my own funeral.

Here I am sitting in front of this, tip-tapping on the keyboard the morning school run ahead of me, two young children to get ready plus myself.  My action plan for the morning clear in my head, it should be a simple thing to achieve. Yet simple feels so far from me as I generally end up pacing about resembling a confused chicken as I utter the words "right that's it.............please will you listen"  all to many times.  I see myself as a bumbling buffoon, children running rings around me.  
When my mission of the morning school run is over I feel ready for a good rest or my guilty pleasure; a coffee shop with a book.

Time for another coffee!

Dog owners

Pretending your dog isn't doing a poo right next to you?  Yeah you!  Looking anywhere but the direction of your squatting pooch!!
I am a dog owner, 99% of the time I pick up his poop.  I have forgotten poop bags on a few occasions, but I improvise. An empty crisp packet I found in my coat pocket, a plastic bag stuck in a hedge, I have even sent my other half running back to the car/house to get a bag.
Hands up, I'll shoot myself! Yes I have left poop where it landed and I have felt ashamed, guilty and a bit of a tramp for it.

Don't get a bloody dog if your not prepared to stoop down to pick up the "parcel".  Hey you don't even have to stoop down any more you can buy long handled poop scoopers now.
Run out of poop bags?  Guess what........... a bog standard plastic bag also works for the job at hand!  There are no end of them flying about the world!
No excuses you poo dodgers!!

Oh I cannot forget those fellow dog owners who do pick up their dog's poo and leave it nicely bagged up.......hanging on a fence, branch etc. or thrown to the edge of the path.  Are you too embarrassed to carry the poop in the bag until you find a bin?
Cavehill Country Park (High Town Road entrance) could do with some more bins for poop depositing.

Why do some dog owners think its okay to walk their dogs in children's play parks?  Tramps!!  Dog poo and children are not a good combo! 
 

Community?

Ah! I walk through the streets where I am living and have to switch off to a degree, if I were not to do this I would become very sickened by  the state of the place and by a good few of the people.
It is a very run down area of Belfast, Northern Ireland.  A despondent community, full of people who want everything, yet are not at all very willing to do anything to help towards making a change for the better.  Which begs then the question do they really want change?  Do they want to move forward to something new, something fresh for the future generations?
Oh! I wonder at this and think not.  A shift in the way the community lies would mean a shift in the way they behaved and thought!!!!
Change is uncomfortable, it means looking at how things are now and why; which means looking at yourself (not always a comfortable thing to do).

Communities like the one I live in are all too common.  A sense of pride that once was (many moons ago) is now a hope for the future. Though my soul feels it will never be reality once more.

Sick of broken glass and general disrespect and consideration for..........well anything apart from what lies past the threshold of there own home.